These are my least favorite questions that I see being asked by other bariatric patients.
“Omg can you actually eat all of that?”
“Wait, are you able to eat all of that?”
“Oh wow, I could never eat all of that.”
Over time, many bariatric patients can consume larger quantities of food, which can be a source of concern and struggle.
For individuals who have undergone bariatric surgery or have experienced weight-related challenges, comments about the amount of food they eat can be triggering and frustrating.
Asking someone “Can you really eat all of that?” Insinuates:
- That there is a lot of food on their plate.
- That it is too much food to be able to eat, and that it is somehow “bad” or makes them a bad WLS patient.
- That you are eating less than them and shocked that someone could eat as much as they appear to be eating.
If someone generously shares their food or meal ideas on any platform, it’s important not to judge them based on their portion size.
If you are new on this journey and genuinely curious (because I get it you want to know what to expect!) try saying:
- “ Would you mind sharing with me how your restriction has changed over time?”
- “ Was this a typical meal you would have had in your first year post op?”
- “ Would you mind sharing with me how your meals have changed, if at all, since your first year post op?”
- “Are you able to eat more now than you were when you first had surgery? As someone who is newly post op I would love to hear more about your experiences with restriction”
Notice how these questions have a much more supportive tone than “Wow, can you really eat all of that?”
The comparison game is prevalent in our community, which is why I refrain from showing before-and-after images of what remains on my plate. Because really, how does that benefit YOU?
It doesn’t matter how much someone else eats. It doesn’t matter how much food someone else requires to feel full and meet their nutritional needs. This journey isn’t one-size-fits-all, and neither is our pouch size.
Believe it or not, everyone’s pouch is different! Every surgeon cuts differently. Everyone’s tolerance is different.
I for sure still have restrictions but naturally can eat much more than I once could. And thank god I can!
My dietitian explained to me on my first visit with her “If your portions don’t increase over time you will starve to death. It’s normal and expected that you will be able to eat more. The goal is to get back to normal healthful sized portions.” So, I’m here to pass along her very important message.
So, I implore you, to refrain from asking someone if they can eat “all of that.” Because “all of that” is likely what they need to feel satisfied, and those three words could inadvertently place them in a negative emotional state.
It’s not about how much we can eat; rather, it’s about the quality of our meals and our long-term well-being. Here’s a little secret… You can eat more and still achieve your weight loss goals!
Ways to work together:
The T.R.I.B.E.® Membership is your one-stop shop for everything you need after WLS! Say goodbye to the feeling of failure. Your dream bariatric life awaits. The T.R.I.B.E.® is a self-paced, step-by-step membership for babes pre- and post-weight loss surgery.
Everything in the T.R.I.B.E.® Membership will give you the tools to succeed, and the support to feel empowered—all you have to do is show up and put in the work!
When you join the T.R.I.B.E.® Membership, you’ll get immediate access to
- Registered dietitian-lead training on nutrition and WLS
- 100+ workout videos
- raining sessions & guidebooks
- 40+ monthly live support groups lead by other bariatric patients and professionals
- Expert guest calls & live Q&As
- An active community board where you can get more support, get your questions answered, and make more connections with other T.R.I.B.E.® babes who are on this journey with you
- all of these resources and more!
You will learn the exact steps you need to take so you can change your eating habits, your relationship with food, and your mindset. We’re ready to help you reach your goals, so the question is – are you?
